Readers, Welcome to my blog (formerly Birds, Blooms, Books, etc). I'm entering a new decade taking on the challenge of moving from Maryland after living there 46 years and learning about my new home here in New England in the Live Free or Die state - New Hampshire. Join me as a write this new chapter of my life.

Wednesday, February 28, 2024

Words for Wednesday

Today I was in a shoe store that sells only shoes, nothing else. A young girl with a tattoo and green hair walked over to me and asked, "What brings you in today, I looked at her and said, "I'm interested in buying a refrigerator." She didn't quite know how to respond, had that deer in the headlights look.

I was thinking about old age and decided that old age is when you still have something on the ball, but you are just too tired to bounce it.

When people see a cat's litter box they always say, "Oh, have you got a cat" I just say, "No, it's for company!"

Employment application blanks always ask who is to be called in case of an emergency. I think you should write, "An ambulance."

The older you get the tougher it is to lose weight because by then your body and your fat have gotten to be really good friends.

The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.

Have you ever noticed: The Roman Numerals for forty (40) are XL.

The sole purpose of a child's middle name is so he knows when he's really in trouble.

Did you ever notice that when you put the 2 words "The" and "IRS" together it spells "Theirs"

Aging: Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.

Some people try to turn back their "odometers." Not me.
I want people to know why I look this way.

I've traveled a long way and a lot of the roads were not paved.

Ah! Being young is beautiful but being old is comfortable.

Lord, keep your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth.

May you always have:
Love to share,
Cash to spare,
Tires with air,

And friends who care.

Thanks to my friend, Marilyn, for sharing these with me. 


Tom said...

May you always have: Love to share, Cash to spare,
Tires with air, sums things up well.

Barbara Rogers said...

Great pithy sayings! Good to be reminded of them all. And I'm going to be very wary when visiting you, that you'll hit me upside the head with your humor!

Faith said...

I needed a laugh this morning!! thanks for sharing!!

Anvilcloud said...

I thoguht you might be serious after I read just the first item. 😊

Fun60 said...

How funny. I thought exactly the same when I read the first part. I had to go back and reread. Thanks for the laugh.

Vicki Lane said...

Good ones!