I once dated a girl with a twin and people always asked me how I could tell them apart.....
It was simple, Alison painted her nails red, and Bob had a beard.
Ring your own doorbell on your way to bed. This will clear the dogs off the bed.
I went to an Alcoholics Anonymous Meeting. Anonymous my eye. I knew everyone there!!
In a society that has you counting money, kilos, calories, and steps, be a rebel and count your 'blessings' instead.
I just asked myself if I'm crazy, and 'We all said No'.
Don't worry about 'getting old'. Worry about 'thinking old'.
You can do a hundred things right
and someone will always point out the ONE thing you did wrong.
After that 'Covid thing' last year, my 'going out' clothes have missed me so much.
I put them on and they hugged me so tightly, I could barely breathe.
I told my wife she should 'embrace her mistakes'...............She gave me a hug.
A Genie granted me one wish, so I said "I just want to be happy". So now I'm living in a little cottage with 6 dwarves and working in a mine. 'whistle while you work.......'
I took my 8 year old daughter to the office on 'take your kid to work day'.
But when we walked into the office she started to cry.
As concerned staff gathered around I asked her what was wrong and she said:
"Daddy where are all the clowns you said you worked with?”